Practical Advice for Utah Parents
In Utah, joint custody guidelines encourage both parents to actively participate in their child's life, including school activities. While we are often presented with the image of an idealized, harmonious family post-divorce, where parents remain friends and spend a lot of time together with their children, this does not reflect reality for most divorced parents. School events, in particular, can be challenging to manage, especially if you are newly divorced.
This blog post offers practical advice to help you get through school events with your co-parent while keeping your child's best interests at heart.
Prioritize Open Communication Whenever Possible
Effective communication is the cornerstone of successful co-parenting, especially when it comes to school events. By maintaining open lines of communication, both parents can stay informed, avoid miscommunications, and be involved in their child's educational journey.
Tips for more effective communication with your co-parent include:
- Utilize shared digital calendars like Google Calendar or co-parenting apps to keep track of upcoming school events and parental responsibilities.
- Coordinate in advance who will attend each event, deciding whether both parents will be present or if they'll take turns.
- Explicitly agree that school events will stay centered around your shared children and that your relationship issues will not be discussed.
Though these tips are good in theory, it must be acknowledged that communication isn't always easy. In high-conflict situations, where frequent contact might exacerbate tensions, finding ways to share necessary information with minimal interaction is important. Email or app-based communication can be helpful tools in these scenarios.
Attending Events Together vs. Separately
Deciding whether to attend school events together or separately is another difficult decision for many newly divorced parents. While attending together might present a unified front and show support for your child, it's not always feasible, especially soon after a divorce.
If attending together is not possible, or if it presents undue stress on your new co-parenting relationship, don't do it. The goal is to prioritize your child's comfort and happiness, which sometimes means attending events separately.
Tips for attending school functions as a newly divorced parent when things may be tense:
- Arrive at different times to minimize interaction.
- Don't feel pressured to sit together if not necessary.
- Maintain civility in conversations that occur in front of children and school staff.
Should School Events Be Included in Parenting Plans?
While not strictly necessary, including school events in your parenting plan can be beneficial. It helps avoid last-minute conflicts and sets clear expectations about who will attend important events like parent-teacher conferences or school performances.
Consider including provisions such as:
- Both parents agree to share event schedules.
- Alternate attendance for school events.
- Both parents attend significant events.
- How disputes related to school and education will be handled.
- How school activities and events will be paid for.
By clearly outlining these responsibilities, you can create a smoother co-parenting experience.
Working with the School & Teachers
Informing your child's school about custody arrangements is crucial. This ensures both parents receive important school communications and updates.
To ensure both parents have access to important school info:
- Make sure the school has updated contact information for both parents.
- Ensure that the school knows to send emails, newsletters, schedules, and other notifications to both parents.
- Notify teachers and administrators about the custody situation to avoid miscommunications.
Even with extensive planning, mistakes will happen, and confusion will arise. Address last-minute changes promptly and work to correct misinformation or miscommunication issues. While the initial adjustment period post-divorce can be challenging, effective communication and planning can make school events a positive experience for everyone involved.
If you find yourself in need of modifying your parenting plan or dealing with a legal dispute with your co-parent, don't hesitate to reach out to our firm, Nelson, Taylor & Associates, PLLC. We're here to provide the guidance and support you need to navigate the complexities of co-parenting in Utah.
